There’s no beating the thrill of a game of poker, is there? I’ve had my fair share of dramatic wins and wicked beatdowns at the table, and I’m thrilled to take you through the hands of poker in order from the strongest to the weakest, from the holy grail to the “why did I even call?” moments. I’ll tell you some stories from my own games and give you a view of what each hand looks like.
Therefore, relax, grab a drink, and talk cards from great to terrible!
1. Royal Flush
The Royal Flush is the holy grail of poker sorcery. It’s Ace, King, Queen, Jack, and 10, all of the same denomination. I once saw one in a low-rent dive bar game, and the guy who held A♠ K♠ Q♠ J♠ 10♠ was grinning like a lunatic that he hit the jackpot. The whole table lost it! If you’re dealt this, you’re basically a poker god, and nobody’s getting near you.
Example:
A♥ K♥ Q♥ J♥ 10♥
2. Straight Flush
And then, of course, there’s the Straight Flush, essentially the slightly less glamorous cousin to the Royal Flush. Five consecutive cards of the same suit, like 9♥ 8♥ 7♥ 6♥ 5♥. I once held 8♣ 7♣ 6♣ 5♣ 4♣ and felt like the king of the world—until this buffoon turned over an even higher Straight Flush. Ouch! Gut punch, that is. Regardless, this hand’s a monster.
Example:
9♠ 8♠ 7♠ 6♠ 5♠
3. Four of a Kind
Four of a Kind is straight-up a beast. To think four Aces, for example, A♣ A♦ A♥ A♠. I did this at my buddy’s home game, and the expressions on all the faces when I swept in the chips? Priceless. It’s a rare find, but watch out—those Straight Flushes and Royals can still ruin your day.
Example:
A♣ A♦ A♥ A♠
4. Full House
Full House is my kind of hand—three of one kind and two of a different kind, e.g., K♣ K♦ K♥ Q♠ Q♥. Remind me of laying this down against my friend’s Two Pair. Like I was dropping the mic. It’s a solid hand that screams, “I got this,” and it’s fun to play.
Example:
K♣ K♦ K♥ Q♠ Q♥
5. Flush
Now we have the Flush: five of the same kind, one suit, no need to rank them, e.g., A♦ 10♦ 7♦ 5♦ 2♦. It’s tricky—sometimes it’s a winner, and sometimes you get out-flushed by a bigger one. I once had A♣ 10♣ 7♣ 5♣ 2♣ and won a Straight. Felt like I’ve just committed a robbery!
Example:
A♣ 10♣ 7♣ 5♣ 2♣
6. Straight
The Straight is five consecutive cards, mixed suit, e.g., 10♠ 9♦ 8♥ 7♣ 6♠. It’s a ninja hand—catches people off guard. I once had one and watched my opponent’s smug smile erased when their pair of Aces got blown away. It’s not flashy, but it’s got some serious sneaky power.
Example:
10♠ 9♦ 8♥ 7♣ 6♠
7. Three of a Kind
Three of a Kind—three cards, same rank, e.g., J♣ J♦ J♥—is not bad. I’ve had that and felt I was well placed, only to be destroyed by a Straight. It’s such a buddy who’s cool but not trustworthy. You must play it smart.
Example:
J♣ J♦ J♥
8. Two Pair
Two Pair is just what it sounds like—two sets of pairs, like A♣ A♦ K♠ K♥. It’s better than a single pair, and I’ve used it to edge out a buddy’s One Pair in a friendly game. It’s not gonna make headlines, but it gets the job done.
Example:
A♣ A♦ K♠ K♥
9. One Pair
One Pair is your basic two-of-a-kind, like Q♣ Q♦. It’s super common, but it can still pull through if the table’s weak. I’ve snagged a pot with this when everyone else was stuck with junk. It’s like the little engine that could—just don’t bet your life savings on it.
Example:
Q♣ Q♦
10. High Card
And then there’s High Card, the sad trombone of poker hands. It’s when you’ve got zilch, and your best hope is something like an Ace in A♠ 10♦ 7♣ 5♥ 2♠. I’ve seen it win when everyone else’s cards were just as bad, but let’s be real—you’re not throwing a parade for this one.
Example:
A♠ 10♦ 7♣ 5♥ 2♠ (Ace high)
And that’s my take on poker hands, straight from the heart of a guy who’s seen both highs and lows of the table. From the “whoa” Royal Flush to the “ugh, really?” High Card, poker’s a rollercoaster ride. It’s not the cards—it’s how you play ’em. Next time you’re at a game, hope you get a good one. Stay lucky!